The Laugh Thread

[Pedro]

:laugh2:

Pedro

[humpybong]

HaHaHa!  Very good....and very true as well.

:laughingneqw:

[Basil]

Earl and Bubba were quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "Think I'm gonna divorce the wife - she ain't hardly spoke to me in over 2 months."
Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says, "Better think it over ... women like that are hard to find."
******************************************************************************
An old guy (Bob) goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent
to the Urologist as a precaution.
When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty
female doctor.
The female doctor says,"Im going to check your prostate today, butthis new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to.
I want you to lie on your right side,bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say,99.
The old guy obeys and says, "99".
The doctor says, "Great", now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say,"99".
Again, the old guy says, " 99."
The doctor said, "Very good". Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly.
Im going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand Im going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way.
Now take a deep breath and say, " 99".
The old guy begins, "One...two. three.".........

[Triggersmob]

Back in 70's (before we had computers) sending funnies via fax was all the rage. I actually kept all these funnies and put them into a file. Some are a bit rude to show on here (some are very rude), but here are a few that I thought might give you a laugh.

The first one is my all time favourite.

[trout]

I can remember them from when they were doing the rounds :laugh2:

[humpybong]

Looks like we have found the originator of these.......now I know who was sending them around......no one else seems to have them.

:yahoo:

[Triggersmob]

What can I Say? It's the collector in me.
Not responsible for circulating them though.
These haven't seen daylight for many years.

[Basil]

Earlier today I swallowed two pieces of string and they came out tied together.I shit you knot.
My new girlfriend from Thailand said that having a small penis is no problem. I really like her but I think I'd still prefer it if she didn't have one.
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!
''A Botanist goes into Bunnings. He asks: "Hey, you got any of that inhibitor of C3 H8 NO5 P (glyphosate); C6 H17 N2 O5 P (glyphosate-mono(isopropylammonium)) (62). Shop assistant: "You mean Roundup?" Botanist: "Yeah, that's it. I can never remember that bloody name."

[JeffH]

Loved the botanist one. I am a bit like that sometime.

One day, The Lord says to Adam, ''I've got some good news and some bad news.''
''Well,'' Adam replies, ''the good news first.''
The Lord explains, ''I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to create new things, solve problems and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will give you great physical pleasure and allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form.''
Adam, exclaims, ''What could possibly be the bad news after such great tidings?''

The Lord says with sorrow, ''You will never be able to use these two gifts at the same time.''

[Goose]

That was great JeffH.....I'll have to pass it along.

[humpybong]

Great jokes Jeff and Basil.


Going to use them on the Knights webpage they are so good.

[ausjack]

:laugh2: great jokes

[JeffH]

Here's one for the other old farts.

[Basil]

[gnome]

Recently stolen,

A couple who work at the circus go to an adoption agency.
Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability.
The couple produce photos of their 50 foot motorhome, which is equipped with a beautiful nursery
The social workers then are doubtful about the education that the child would get.
"We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills."
Then there are doubts about raising a child in a circus environment.
"Our nanny is an expert in paediatric welfare and diet."
The social workers are finally satisfied.
They ask, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?"
"It doesn't really matter, as long as he fits in the cannon !"