The Laugh Thread

[Basil]

Who said Aussie Rules footballers aren't smart
 
 
 

   

'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'

(Shane Wakelin).

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'Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like

Norman Einstein.'

(Mick Malthouse - Collingwood).

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'I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.'

(Peter Bell - Fremantle - on his University Law studies).

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'You guys line up alphabetically by height.' and 'You guys pair up in

Groups of three, then line up in a circle.'

(Barry Hall Sydney Captain at training)..

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Brock Maclean ( Melbourne )   on whether he had visited the Pyramids

During his visit to Egypt :

'I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.'

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(THIS IS PRICELESS!!!!)

'He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of

What time it is.'

(Kevin Sheedy on James Hird ).

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Jonathan Brown , on night Grand Finals vs Day Games

'It's basically the same, just darker.'

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Ron Barassi   talking about Gary Cowton 'I told him, 'Son, what is it

With you. Is it ignorance or apathy?'

He said, 'Barass, I don't know and I don't care.'   (HYSTERICAL)

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Barry Hall   ( Sydney ) when asked about the upcoming season:

'I want to kick 70 or 80 goals this season, whichever comes first.'

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'Luke Hodge - the 21 year old, who turned 22 a few weeks ago'

(Dermott Brereto n).

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'Chad had done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator.'

(Mark Williams).

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At least this one could have been ironic?

'We actually got the winning goal three minutes from the end but then

They scored.'

(Ben Cousins, West Coast Eagles ).

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'I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.'

(Luke Darcy).

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'That kick was absolutely unique, except for the one before it which

Was identical.'

(Dermott Brereton).

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'Sure there have been injuries and deaths in football - but none of

Them serious.'

(Adrian Anderson).

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'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same

Thing again.

(Andrew Demetriou).

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'I would not say he (Chris Judd) is the best centreman in the AFL but

There are none better.' (Dermott Brereton).

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'I never comment on umpires and I'm not going to break the habit of a

Lifetime for that prat.' (Terry Wallace).

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Garry Lyon   : 'Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?'

David Swartz : 'On what?'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.'

(Dermott Brereton).
 
 

........................................And they also get paid.......................a bit of a worry!?!

[ausjack]

:laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2: Basil, Basil, Basil, gee you crack me up mate good stuff :good:

[Robster]

Go the "Power". :angel:

[Pedro]

I think somebody may have turned off their electricity supply for this year Robster :angel:

Pedro

[Robster]

LOL. My scarf 'hangs limp'.:cray:  Even worse is the fact that Mrs. Robster is a Crows fan.:dodgy:

[Pedro]

A marriage made in heaven :laugh2:

Pedro

[Basil]

:laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2: Basil, Basil, Basil, gee you crack me up mate good stuff :good:

Thanks AJ,reminds me of some of the quotes from ABC commentators when they started to televise Golf in Oz, in the 1960's.
"the majority of putts left short don't go in" & a classic from a Oz Open at Royal Melbourne as a guy lined up a slick downhill putt,"he's  putting down the slope with the wind behind so shouldn't have any trouble getting the ball to the hole ".

One of the lynchpins in our Internet Joke circuit is in Hospital so the flow is a bit quiet at the moment.

[JeffH]

The first Reversing Sensor
Most cars these days have a reversing sensor to beep if there is something too close behind you.  
This handy feature was first installed on vehicles in Asia and were much more intrusive than systems in place today.  
The old systems let out a squeal when you back up and hit something.  
 

[Triggersmob]

[ausjack]

Gee I don't know who's worse, maybe as bad as each other, good show I must say. Be better if I didn't keep falling off my chair
I hope your friend gets better soon Basil :friends:

[Unicorn]

From the 1956 Summer Olympics ...... see Lorraine Crapp in the pool :angel:

[keldaw]

Subject: A Scottish Solder

A Scottish Solder in full dress uniform marches into a chemists.

Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also unfolds to reveal a condom.

The condom has a number of patches on it.

The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically.

"How much to repair it?" the Scot asks the chemist.

"Six pence," says the chemist.

"How much for a new one?"

"Ten pence,"says the chemist.

The Scot painstakingly folds the condom into the silk square handkerchief and the cotton bandana, replaces it carefully in his sporran and marches out of the door, shoulders back and kilt swinging.

A moment or two later the chemist hears a great shout go up outside, followed by an even greater shout.

The Scottish soldier marches back into the chemists and addresses the proprietor, this time with a grin on his face.

"The regiment has taken a vote," he says.

"We'll have a new one."

[Unicorn]

:laugh2: Very good Kel!!

[autocoupler]

Option two, I once turned my socks inside out when they were past it :blush:

[Basil]