The Laugh Thread

[Basil]

Clue. The incorrect answer is topical to these times.

Answer...?

I have to laugh with JL's take on the Alan Jones feud,it went for years with both rubbishing each other on Air until they had a Lunch a couple of years ago and buried the hatchet,Laws now says they were always friends except for one minor disagreement!!!!!

Keep posting the jokes Jeff,the lynchpin in our group has had a stroke so i rarely get any sent these days.

[JeffH]

The answer according to the slip of paper from the cracker is "carrot". Pedro  just had it a bit mixed up.
However everyone I asked thought it must be a Donald Trump riddle.

[JeffH]

A true story from some years ago courtesy of Peter FitzSimons.
There's this junior soccer game at Barra Brui Sportsground in St Ives, where, with 20 minutes to go in the under-10s, the game tight, things are really starting to get heated from the supporters. It gets so bad that at one point the coach of the home side calls one of his nine-year-old players aside and asks, "Jimmy, do you understand what co-operation is? What a team is?"
The young lad nods.
"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?"
The lad nods again.
"So," the coach continues, "I'm sure you know that when a penalty is called against us, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the referee or call him a dickhead. Do you understand all that?"
One more time, the lad nods.
Coach continues, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach a dumb arsehole, is it?"
The lad shakes his head to indicate that he is in complete agreement.
"Good," says the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your mother."

[Pedro]

The answer according to the slip of paper from the cracker is "carrot". Pedro  just had it a bit mixed up.
However everyone I asked thought it must be a Donald Trump riddle.

Oh no, overthought it again. Maybe I should take up writing Christmas cracker jokes.  :winkextra:

Pedro

[JeffH]

Maybe I should take up writing Christmas cracker jokes.

Looking forward to an improvement in the quality of jokes when you start.

[Pedro]

Looking forward to an improvement in the quality of jokes when you start.

I wouldn't count on it :laugh2: 

Pedro

[JeffH]

[Unicorn]

:laugh2: Luckily the paint looks cream ...... it could have been a whiteoff otherwise!

[Basil]

That brings back memories,back in the 1970's i was on the grog with a mate in Sydney,as we walked back to his Ford Escort work Van he saw a wall mounted Fire Extinguisher in the parking garage,took it off the mount and put it in the back of his Van. It didn't take long for it to fall over and go off,the whole van,and us,was covered in Foam,3.00am in the morning hosing out the Van on my Driveway.
Lesson to be learnt there,don't touch other peoples property.

[JeffH]

Vinyl record are having a resurgence in popularity.
How groovy is that?

[JeffH]

[Triggersmob]

Couple of good ones there Jeff.
Made me smile.

[JeffH]

A doctor reveals the "truth" about the medical profession and Covid-19.

[Unicorn]

That was a good read Jeff :laugh2:

[Unicorn]

I was walking past the pub the other night and I heard a brilliant rendition of Sweet Home Alabama being played by a chap on guitar. I went in and recognised the musician as our local magistrate. I told him I thought he was a wonderful player and could I get him to play at my party the next week. He said he'd love to but that he was fed up playing other people's songs all the time and rarely got a chance to play his own material. I said no problem, I'm sure you'll be great.
As luck would have it his own stuff was terrible and the night was ruined...
Anyway, I've learnt my lesson and now know I should never book a judge by his cover...