The Laugh Thread

[nealeffendi]

:laugh2: ...... What a great use of their time!

We've probably all heard the phrase "s**t a brick" ........ now we can apparently do an alternative ....

https://www.news.com.au/technology/innovation/inventions/world-first-human-urine-bricks-developed-in-south-africa-could-weevolutionise-building/news-story/8b674950e39a4c49987295eaaf067e7f

So a brickie should drink more beer to make his own bricks? Might be a great excuse when pulled over for RBT to tell them that you were not drinking but actually working. :police_car:

[Unicorn]

:laugh2: ..... that's the one Neal, I'm sure they'd be mortar-fied!

[JeffH]

The copper that would accept that story would have to be As Thick as a Brick!

[JeffH]

When an Engineer has too much time.

[Pedro]

:laugh2: 

Pedro

[Unicorn]

That's a beauty Jeff.

[JeffH]

If tomb is pronounced 'toom'

and womb is pronounced 'woom'

why isn't bomb pronounced BOOM? :cool:

[Basil]

Inspector Clouseau will agree with you....Lol

[Pedro]

The joys of the English language!

Pedro

[JeffH]

[nealeffendi]

Who doesn't love word scramble puzzles.
Try these ones, should be easy to solve with the clues

PNEIS (something hard that most men have)
NGGERI (a term of colour applied to some people of certain races)
BUTTSXE (not every one will get this)














Answers:

spine
ginger
subtext

[keldaw]

Well done , mate , I thought I had them all right until I went down and found the answers

[Basil]

Irish Confession:
I went into the confessional box after many years of being away from the Catholic Church.
Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap.  On one wall, there was a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses.  On the other wall was a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.
When the priest came in, I said to him, "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be.
"He replied, "You moron, you're on my side."
 
                                      ______________________________ ______________________________ __
 
Paddy was driving home, drunk as a skunk, suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another. A cop car pulls him over as
he veers about all over the road. Paddy tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
 
Cop says "For God's sake Paddy, that's your air freshener swinging about!"
 
                  ______________________________ __
 
Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced, 'Not guilty.'
'That's grand!'  shouted Reilly. 'Does that mean I can keep the money?'
                 ______________________________ __
 
Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink.
Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.
                  ______________________________ __
 
Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, 'Is that you I hear spittin'
in the vase on the mantel piece?'
 
'No,' said himself, 'but I'm gettin' closer all the time.'
                   ______________________________ __
 
Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two o'clock
in the morning.
 I can't break her out of it.
Keenan: What on earth is she doin' at that time?
Finnegin: Waitin' for me to come home!
                   ______________________________ __
 
Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital. 'Quick!' he said. 'Send an ambulance, my wife is goin' to have a baby!'
'Tell me, is this her first baby?' the intern asked.
'No, this is her husband, Kevin, speakin'.'
                   ______________________________

[JeffH]

I could not but think of our house when I saw this one. We have three cats but one, in particular, loves pushing things off the kitchen bench onto the slate floor.

[Unicorn]

:laugh2: On ya Jeff! Our dogs will take anything that's left outside and chew it up. They got Mrs Uni's crossword dictionary a make a real mess of that! Talk about eat ya words!