The Laugh Thread

[Unicorn]

Now that's my kinda joke!!! Top stuff Jeff.

[gnome]

An invisible man marries an invisible woman.

The kids were nothing to look at either.

[nealeffendi]

A political joke going around America.
Hillary is not a female, she is just a big F.
(after she deleted the emale)

[Basil]

A Ride In The Taxi
A woman and her twelve-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit. It was
raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings. "Mom," said the
boy, "what are all those women doing?"
"They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied.
The taxi driver turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him
the Truth? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money."
The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true Mom?"
His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers "Yes".
After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mom, if those women have babies, what
happens to them?"
She said, "Most of them become taxi drivers."

[gnome]

What do you call a nose without a body?

Nobody knows.
Just heard about a new movie coming out called    Clocks, it's about 2 hours.
Was at the zoo the other day, very disappointing, there was only a dog there. It was a shitzu.

[JeffH]

A boy comes home and says to his parents "Mum, Dad, the teacher asked a question today and I was the only kid in the class that knew the answer!"
And the parents say "That's amazing son! What was the question?"
And the boy says "Who farted?"

[autocoupler]

This may have done the rounds before, but I thought it was good!!

 Two young businessmen were sitting down for a break in their
 soon-to-be new store in the shopping mall.

As yet, the store's merchandise wasn't in -- only a few shelves and display racks set up .
 One said to the other, "I'll bet that any minute now some senior is going to
 walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."

Sure enough, just a moment later, a curious senior gentleman walked up to
 the window, looked around intensely and rapped on the glass, then in a loud voice asked, "What are you selling here?"
 One of the men replied sarcastically,                "We're selling ass-holes."

The old timer retorted,
 "You must be doing really well, you've only two left."

[JeffH]

I was confused when I heard the word ''service'' used in these ways: telephone service; cable service; internet service; civil service; public service; customer service. This is not what I thought service meant.
Then today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them had hired a bull to service a few cows. BAM!!! It all came into focus. Now I understand what those services are doing to us.

[trout]

Then today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them had hired a bull to service a few cows. BAM!!! It all came into focus. Now I understand what those services are doing to us.

That's "Gold" Mate :laugh2::good:

[Pedro]

:laughingneqw:

Pedro

[gnome]

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, and wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.
The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took out a tissue, wiped her nose, and then shuddered violently once more.
Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again.
As before, she took out a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before. Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose, and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?"
The woman replied, "I am sorry if I disturbed you. I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm."
The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. "I have never heard of that condition before," he said. "Are you taking anything for it?"

The woman nodded. "Pepper."

[Goose]

Excellent!

[tonymac]

A blonde was walking along the riverbank seeing another blonde across the river she calls out how do I get to the other side ? The second blonde replies your on the other side.
:yahoo:

[JeffH]

I just came across a rare creature; a witty and amusing limerick that is not dirty!

There was a young lady named Bright
Whose speed was far faster than light;
She set out one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.

[tonymac]

Two blondes walk into a building you would have thought one of them would have seen it ..........:yahoo: