The Laugh Thread

[ausjack]

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when
he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life. After Mass, the
priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to
come to Mass. What made ya come?"

Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father. A while back, I
misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn
had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I
also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he
would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after
Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's
hat. What changed your mind?" Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your
sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal
McGlynn's hat after all."

With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said;
"After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather
do without your hat than burn in Hell?" Murphy slowly shook his head.
"No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I
remembered where I left me hat.
Murphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor. It lands butter-side-up.

He looks at what he has done in astonishment, for he knows it's a law of nature that
buttered toast always falls butter-down.

He rushes round to the presbytery to fetch the priest.

He tells the priest that he thinks a miracle has happened round at his flat.

He won't say what it is but wants Fr Flannagan to see it with his own eyes.

He brings Fr Flannagan into the kitchen and asks him what he sees on the floor."

""Well," says the priest, "it's pretty obvious what we have here. Someone dropped
some buttered toast, and then for some reason flipped it over so that the butter was
on top.""

"No, Father, I dropped it and it landed like that."

"Well," Fr Flannagan says, "it's certainly a natural law of the universe that dropped
toast never falls butter side up. But it's not for me to say it's a miracle. I'll report the
matter to the bishop, and have him send people round, to interview you, take photos, etc."

An investigation of some rigour is conducted, not only by priests of the archdiocese,
but by scientists sent from the Curia in Rome. The final ruling is a negative, however. it reads:

 
""It was certainly an extraordinary event that occurred in Murphy's room, quite
outside the normal run of the phenomena. Yet we have to be very cautious before
ruling any happening miraculous, ruling out all possible natural explanations. In this
case we have declared no miracle. For it possibly resulted  from Murphy's having
buttered the toast on the wrong side."

[Robster]

"Two of the best A.J.!! :yahoo:

[JeffH]

[Nevol]

Awwww..how cute is that?  :angel:

[Triggersmob]

The answer is 42!

[Australian coin]

cuteeee

[ausjack]

I have a place for that, it's called a boiling pot :laugh2: Bloody ducks suck big time and I'll never have them again, dirty bloody things and use that much water it's not funny and full of fat and cysts Ewww grosss, chooks are better but I want some geese for a watch dog :good:

[Unicorn]

Putin on the Ritz ......

[ausjack]

Uni uni uni what am I to do with you

[ausjack]

Two Glasgow boys, Archie and Jock, are sitting in the pub discussing Jock's forthcoming wedding.

 
 

'Aye, it's all going like magic,' says Jock. 'I've got everything organised already: the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night...'

Archie nods approvingly.


 

'Hell, I've even bought a kilt to be married in!' continues Jock.

'A kilt?' exclaims Archie, 'That''s grand, you'll look pure smart in that! And what's the tartin?'

'Ach,' says Jock, 'I' imagine she'll be in white.'

[purplepennyhunter]

you guys have me in stitches.

[ausjack]

:blush2: It's bloody Uni he's a bad influence on me, true

[JeffH]

One of our members scores a cameo role!

[Unicorn]

Gee ..... who'd have thought that serial end up being in a cartoon!!

[Robster]

Funny, clever and funnier, cleverer.!!  :angel: