The Laugh Thread

[JeffH]

These T shirts are also available in whiskey and wine versions.

[Unicorn]

Love the Tshirt Jeff! ...... (must put that on the shopping list)

[Nevol]

A Chemist walks into his shop to find a man leaning against the wall.

"What's wrong with him?" he asks his assistant.

"He came in for some cough syrup," the assistant explains,
"but I couldn't find any so I sold him a bottle of laxative instead."

'What!' the Chemist says, horrified.
"You can't treat a cough with laxative"

"Of course you can" the assistant declares.
"Just look at him – he's far too scared to cough!"

[Pedro]

Classic :laugh2:

Pedro

[Unicorn]

+1 :laugh2:

[Nevol]

[JeffH]

Click to start the clip.
[video=facebook]https://www.facebook.com/2170068956369659/videos/394865511319244/[/video]

[Nevol]

A woman golfer hit another player nearby when she teed-off.

He put his hands together between his legs, fell to the ground and rolled around in pain.

She rushed to him & offered to relieve his pain as she was a Doctor.

He reluctantly agreed.

She gently moved his hands away, unzipped his pants & put her hands inside.

She massage him tenderly for a few minutes then asked
"How does it feel?"


He replied, "Feels great, but I still think my thumb is broken!"

[Pedro]

:laugh2:

Pedro

[Unicorn]

:laugh2: ..... Keep 'em coming Nevol!

[JeffH]

A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO LOS ANGELES , WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET.

SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO LOS ANGELES AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.

THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO LOS ANGELES AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.

THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS. I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE."

HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.

"I TOLD HER, 'FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO LOS ANGELES."

[Nevol]

On his trip to Great Britain, George Bush had a  meeting with Queen Elizabeth.  He asked her, "How
 does one manage to run a country so well and so  effortlessly?
 
"That's easy," she replied, "You surround yourself  with intelligent ministers and advisors."
 
"But how can I tell whether they are intelligent  or not?" he inquired. 
 
"You ask them a riddle," she replied, and with that she pressed a button and  said, "Would you please send Tony Blair in."
 
When Blair arrived, the Queen said, "I have a  riddle for you to answer for me.  Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your  brother.  Who was this child ?"
 
Blair replied, "That's easy.  The child was me."
 
"Very good," said the Queen, "You may go, now."
 
So President Bush went back to Washington and  called in his chief of staff, Karl Rove.  He said  to him, "I have a riddle for you, and the answer is  very important.  Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother.  Who  was this child?"
 
Rove replied, "Yes, it is clearly very important that we determine the answer, as no child must be left behind.  Can I deliberate on this for a while?"
 
"Yes," said Bush, "I'll give you four hours to come up with the answer." So Rove went and called a meeting of the White House Staff, and asked them the riddle.  But after much discussion and many suggestions, none of them had a satisfactory answer.
 
So he was quite upset, not knowing what he would tell the President.   As Rove was walking back to the Oval Office, he saw former Secretary of State Colin Powell approaching him.  So he said, "Mr. Secretary, can you answer this riddle for me. Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother.  Who was the child?"
 
That's easy," said Powell, "The child was me."
 
"Oh thank you," said Rove, "You may just have saved me my job!"
 
So Rove went in to the Oval Office and said to President Bush, "I think I know the answer to your
 riddle.  The child was Colin Powell!"
 
"NO, YOU IDIOT!" shouted Bush, "THE CHILD WAS TONY BLAIR!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------

[serenitystan]

Three women, a blonde,brunette and a red head were each granted a wish by a Jenie. They all asked to be smart. The Jenie turned the blonde into a brunette, the brunette into a red head and the red head into a Man...

[Nevol]

[humpybong]

Yep thats us oldies for sure....good one Nancy