The Laugh Thread

[Triggersmob]

And with that me was beaten to death.

Welcome back Jeff. Hope you had a great holiday.

[JeffH]

The plural of octopus is..............

[gweidion]

I have to say that freaks the hell out of me. And I'm not adverse to eating octopus.

[Triggersmob]

I use to make an octopie, so called because I used 8 ingredients.

Do you have that engine back together yet Jeff?

[JeffH]

Engine partly reassembled. My mechanic (son) has too many paying jobs!

[Triggersmob]

Just as well there is no hurry.

[JeffH]

A man stands in Moscow's Red Square yelling "The President is an idiot!". A couple of cops arrest him and start leading him away, and he says "No, stop! You don't understand! I meant President ZELENSKYY is an idiot!" But the cops keep dragging him away and one says, "You can't fool us. Everybody knows who the idiot is."

[Basilstate]

A man stands in Moscow's Red Square yelling "The President is an idiot!". A couple of cops arrest him and start leading him away, and he says "No, stop! You don't understand! I meant President ZELENSKYY is an idiot!" But the cops keep dragging him away and one says, "You can't fool us. Everybody knows who the idiot is."

Good one Jeff.

[humpybong]

True...but good

[autocoupler]

A man places his Viagra tablet on the kitchen bench when his parrot skips up and swallows it. Annoyed, the man puts the parrot in the freezer to cool off for a bit, intending to later give the bird its freedom. Upon opening the freezer door, he sees the bird sweating profusely and wonders why before the intuitive bird says, "well you try opening the legs of a frozen chicken in a confined space".

[autocoupler]

A woman walks into the green grocer and asks for 2kg of tomatoes. Aldo says sorry madam there are no tomatoes, to this the woman then says could she have 2kg please. Aldo says Madam, can you spell tomatoes, to which she replies TOMATOES. Aldo says, you left out the F, to which she replies, there is no F in tomatoes, to which he replied, that's what I've been trying to tell you.

[Unicorn]

Nice one Auto ..... I know a very extended one on that theme about Mrs Maple Brown wishing to acquire "non-existent" onions during WWII rationing. A favourite of mine :-)

[autocoupler]

Cheers uni, I actually heard that a few days ago on our local radio station.

[JeffH]

A mate and I were sitting in a cafe this morning.
The waitress came over and said "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!"
So we swapped...

[Triggersmob]

I hope you didn't get vegemite.