The Laugh Thread

[Nevol]

Self Testing for Covid

Pour a measure of Scotch, Whiskey or Bourbon into a glass, then see if you can smell it.

If you can, then drink it and if you can taste it then it's reasonable to assume you are currently free of the virus.

I tested myself nine times last night and was virus-free each time, thank goodness.

I will test myself again today because I have developed a headache which can also be a symptom.

[Basil]

Love a bit of slight of hand.
Anyone notice him slap the top of the cards when the guy counted to ten.
Added some extra cards then I reckon.

Yeah,tricks of the trade.
I don't know if anyone here remembers Sam Menacker who was out here in the 1960/70's with the WC wrestling.
I was in the audience for a Don Lane show back then and before the show he was talking to Sam and he(Sam) suggested he liven up the interview with some card tricks instead of being a straight plug for WCW.
Don got someone to find a pack of cards and Sam spent 10 minutes or so with the deck in a corner,marking them somehow we guessed.
During the Interview he got Don to shuffle the cards and then dealt hands to Don & the others(i forget who was there) and proceeded to tell them what cards they had.
At the end of the Interview he said "do not to play cards for money,i had never seen that deck until tonight" which Lane confirmed,Don,the crew and audience did not how he did it as he always held the deck away from his body.Clever stuff.

http://www.australianwrestling.org/index.php/profiles/27-managers-a-officials/190-sam-menacker

[Unicorn]

A really bad one ...... just for Jeff!!!! :laugh2:

[JeffH]

I have my standards I will have you know.
I think that one is struggling to meet them.

[Unicorn]

:laugh2: .... Struggling is my middle name!

[JeffH]

Some LOL pictures here and plenty of birds for Nevol.
Funniest animal photos of the year

[Triggersmob]

Some interesting pics there.
Thanks for sharing Jeff.

[Unicorn]

They are great Jeff! :good:

[Nevol]

Some interesting pics there.
Thanks for sharing Jeff.

 :i_agree:

[JeffH]

The other day I was cruising onto Hume Highway, which was very busy with inferior cars.
First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic Didn't slow down for me as I came off the entry ramp! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway!
The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.
Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.
Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 150 km/hr enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 110 km/hr!
Naturally, I got within a metre or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.
Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me!
He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.
Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew – that my car goes fast!
Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my drivers licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either – they're $60 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even need a driving licence, so they will take it off me!
See, now that's the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!

Must have been a year or two ago because the cops are using BMWs for highway patrol now.

[Triggersmob]

I had a BMW driver try to move across into my lane whilst we were turning a corner
and had dual lanes. He was on the inside lane closest to the kerb and if he followed
the dotted line, only had access to the one lane. I was on the outside and had access
to the middle lane, which I took. This lane was next to his and he tried to come across
in to my lane. Then he honked me, like I'd done something wrong. I think it must be
something to do with the special classes they run for all new BMW drivers.  

[nealeffendi]

I'm lucky, I don't even have to drive to earn points, when my kids get their special certificates in the mail they know that they already have achieved 10 points and they know that alas as I have failed to earn any  they want to share their good fortune, so out of generosity they nominate me on the form they send back and presto! another 3 points for me. Not everybody is blessed with such considerate kids.

[JeffH]

Been there, done that!

[JeffH]

[JeffH]