Hey everyone
Just need some advice on when you know you have hit rock bottom and advice on how too get back too even just half decent?
The first girl I ever felt special with and have liked for the past 6 or 7 years (like really true love if I have ever felt it,) I approach and ask her out once I get over my social anxiety only to find out she is in a relationship (two and a half years strong and apparently very happy) my closest mates find their love and are having great times. Even on top of that my sister just had the guy she likes ask her out to formal. University also is crap overall 2/3 especially accy200 and econ 240 with fin222 being slightly close to bearable. On top of that I have to prepare for half semester exams which I am just out of my mind how I am going to pass let alone continue with my degree. Work has so much left to do in terms of everything with lazy people leaving it. Only to see happy couples come in and buy alcohol for their night out. Now just randomly crying because I can't deal with it any more and I am already on anti depressants for OCD.
Sorry about that all just everything just cant work out for me. I am just utterly distraught and just have no other options which could possibly work in my favour.
Any advice people cause when it looked rock bottom previously it has just spiralled downwards five fold.
Kind Regards
OMF
Quote from: 'oh my florin' pid='78460' dateline='1440856034'Hey everyone
Just need some advice on when you know you have hit rock bottom and advice on how too get back too even just half decent?
The first girl I ever felt special with and have liked for the past 6 or 7 years (like really true love if I have ever felt it,) I approach and ask her out once I get over my social anxiety only to find out she is in a relationship (two and a half years strong and apparently very happy) my closest mates find their love and are having great times. Even on top of that my sister just had the guy she likes ask her out to formal. University also is crap overall 2/3 especially accy200 and econ 240 with fin222 being slightly close to bearable. On top of that I have to prepare for half semester exams which I am just out of my mind how I am going to pass let alone continue with my degree. Work has so much left to do in terms of everything with lazy people leaving it. Only to see happy couples come in and buy alcohol for their night out. Now just randomly crying because I can't deal with it any more and I am already on anti depressants for OCD.
Sorry about that all just everything just cant work out for me. I am just utterly distraught and just have no other options which could possibly work in my favour.
Any advice people cause when it looked rock bottom previously it has just spiralled downwards five fold.
Kind Regards
OMF
Hey Mate,
I am not going to tell you I know how you feel as no one except you know how you feel... However I am nearly 37 now and I can tell you I have been through all most all of the emotions when I was at uni in the late 90's and early 2000's... All I can tell you is all most all the time you come out a winner. When you look back your issues after a period of time you wonder why you were worried ! So do things to get your mind off issues and enjoy your life... let me tell you people have bigger issues in life... some people live with terminal illnesses where as others have to watch their loved once go through it with no way of helping them... keep strong and be happy... if you are already on medication, best to talk to your Dr as well... they can give you additional help... All the best mate... AP
Quote from: 'oh my florin' pid='78460' dateline='1440856034'Any advice people cause when it looked rock bottom previously it has just spiralled downwards five fold.
Oh dear.
First thing, you're not alone. Many people have gone through this, or are going through it. Its not insurmountable, no matter how impossible it may seem.
Second thing, talk to someone. Several someones. Often. It doesn't have to be 'professionals', but it does need to be people who care and empathise. Stay away from the "chin up, she'll be right" mob, they'll just make you worse.
And definitely keep busy. There's nothing worse than crawling into a hole and pulling it in after you. Do that, and nobody can help you. I've lost a few friends who did that instead of reaching out.. nobody knew until it was too late.
Your best bet is to concentrate on your studies, no matter how tough that may seem. The pain will pass, and you'll be the better for it. Heck, you might even surprise yourself if you channel your energies into lifting your academic game.
Don't stress about women, ever. In the big scheme of things, they're just not worth it. Just be yourself, and be receptive and approachable, but don't burn yourself up doing the chasing. You'll find that most relationships don't last anyway, and will hurt you so badly it will take years to recover, if ever. We've all been through it, at least those of us old enough anyway.
And deal with that social anxiety. Get out and about. Do stuff. Join clubs. work on your hobbies, and find new ones. Get onto social media and participate, but don't lose yourself in it either. Look for real people you can bond with.
Oh, and come Xmas, go to ConFest. You'll meet some VERY interesting people. ;)
You need to keep yourself busy whether it be going out with friends ,studying or whatever and as Fulvio
said talk to people.Get the issues off your chest and you will get through your low times.With regard to finding
a girlfriend 99 % of us eventually find a partner.It may last a week or a lifetime but odds are that it will happen
for you at some stage so no need to stress.So you will go through the breakups and makeups like everybody else.
You have it all to look forward to
Hello,
I dont know your position, but I feel you are being a bit melodramatic. Single ? many people are and not by choice. There are many people in abusive relationships, many Men there also. In time you may meet the right Woman, concentrate on being a good person and build a good life for yourself. A sports Car will not attract the right sort IMO. Being " set up " rarely works, you chances are better IMO if you join a group that does things you like to do. What about a Cooking class ?
Dating sites ? There are reasons for many of the people being there. The right person will turn up, you have to be patient and know it at the time. In the meantime find ways to keep busy.
Hi Mate
I'm sorry you are feeling like crap.
Like Fulvio says Talk to people , I don't mean just professionals but anyone who is willing to listen .
Sit down an write a list of things that you enjoy doing that you CAN do and get stuck into those pursuits.
DON"T just give up on yourself , be "Proactive" with this illness .
Most importantly don't dwell in the past, That has gone.
Look to the future , That's where all the good things are hidden waiting to be discovered :good:
have a surf around this site young one
and use your uni counselling services - that is why they are there!!
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/
http://headspace.org.au
Another very good site .... Also speak to your friends and parents ... They can give you another perspective on things ...
Thanks for the advice and links. They helped me significantly although things are still looking significantly down however I will be seeing a doctor on Tuesday to try and help sort things out. I am very sorry to have to put up a thread like this but I felt like there was no other way to go.
Quote from: 'ausproofs' pid='78486' dateline='1440914372'http://headspace.org.au
Another very good site .... Also speak to your friends and parents ... They can give you another perspective on things ...
Yes Headspace are very good and I know because I had to take my daughter last year and they helped sort things out
Quote from: 'oh my florin' pid='78493' dateline='1440924920'Thanks for the advice and links. They helped me significantly although things are still looking significantly down however I will be seeing a doctor on Tuesday to try and help sort things out. I am very sorry to have to put up a thread like this but I felt like there was no other way to go.
Well done mate, seeking help is a very good thing to do....
You have not done anything wrong, so no need to apologise :wavemulticolor:
All the best for your consultation on Tuesday!
I am glad you posted and got some help.
Hello,
I hope we have helped you work out some stuff. When you are going through stuff, it seems far worse than after when you look back. Everyone has issues, some just hide them better. You are not alone in the single thing, there are many nice Women who have never had a Boyfriend. Trouble is there is no sign around their neck to let you know which ones they are !
Add me to the list of people who are thinking of you.! Keep in mind that 'tough times don't last' but 'tough people do'.!
Let those who are skilled in this area guide you to a happy outcome.:dance2:
Quote from: 'Coiny Chris' pid='78507' dateline='1440965609'Trouble is there is no sign around their neck to let you know which ones they are !
Hrm.. I sense a marketing opportunity! :)
I can really empathise with you. I have had major depression for months now. I am considering going into hospital this week for it. It really sucks about the girl you liked but I think the best thing to do is try and accept she is in a relationship and move on as best that you can. Keeping yourself busy is a good way to keep the sadness or depression at bay and is something I really struggle with.
I can really empathise with you. I have had major depression for months now. I am considering going into hospital this week for it. It really sucks about the girl you liked but I think the best thing you can do is try and accept she is in a relationship and move on as best that you can. Keeping yourself busy is a good way to keep the sadness or depression at bay and is something I really struggle with. My advice would be to focus on your studies as best that you can and also talk to a doctor or someone who is a trusted close family member/friend about how you are feeling.
Quote from: 'spraggdean23' pid='78522' dateline='1441009967'I can really empathise with you. I have had major depression for months now. I am considering going into hospital this week for it. It really sucks about the girl you liked but I think the best thing you can do is try and accept she is in a relationship and move on as best that you can. Keeping yourself busy is a good way to keep the sadness or depression at bay and is something I really struggle with. My advice would be to focus on your studies as best that you can and also talk to a doctor or someone who is a trusted close family member/friend about how you are feeling.
Good advice ! All the best with your fight with depression as well... hope things will get better for you too mate ..
Hello,
Thinking out loud a bit so bear with me.... Are there some social type clubs at Uni ? That would be a good way to find some like minded Women. Do you have a MTB or Kayak ? Outdoor fun and a chance to find other like minded people. There are many Women out there that may seem nice, but wont be right for you. It goes the other way of course. A lot of smart blokes stay with the first Woman that gives them the time of day, because they dont want to be alone. There are many lessons in life you will have to learn, rejection ( being dumped ) is one of them, and not nice at all.
I hope you find a nice Woman, but dont rush things with the wrong person. You will have a lifetime of regret if you do.
Quote from: 'spraggdean23' pid='78522' dateline='1441009967'I can really empathise with you. I have had major depression for months now. I am considering going into hospital this week for it. It really sucks about the girl you liked but I think the best thing you can do is try and accept she is in a relationship and move on as best that you can. Keeping yourself busy is a good way to keep the sadness or depression at bay and is something I really struggle with. My advice would be to focus on your studies as best that you can and also talk to a doctor or someone who is a trusted close family member/friend about how you are feeling.
jeepers guys
this is awful!!
take the pills if you must
but for God's sake get yourselves some cognitive behaviour therapy with a good therapist
get a mental health treatment plan through your GP
younger or low income folks can get anther bulk bill one as well
be your own best friend
https://youtu.be/XiCrniLQGYc
Quote from: 'Coiny Chris' pid='78525' dateline='1441012319'Hello,
Thinking out loud a bit so bear with me.... Are there some social type clubs at Uni ? That would be a good way to find some like minded Women. Do you have a MTB or Kayak ? Outdoor fun and a chance to find other like minded people. There are many Women out there that may seem nice, but wont be right for you. It goes the other way of course. A lot of smart blokes stay with the first Woman that gives them the time of day, because they dont want to be alone. There are many lessons in life you will have to learn, rejection ( being dumped ) is one of them, and not nice at all.
I hope you find a nice Woman, but dont rush things with the wrong person. You will have a lifetime of regret if you do.
This is good advice.
I was not enjoying uni at all until I joined a sports team around the same time I made some extra friends and things became a lot better.
Quote from: 'oh my florin' pid='78460' dateline='1440856034'Hey everyone
Just need some advice on when you know you have hit rock bottom and advice on how too get back too even just half decent?
The first girl I ever felt special with and have liked for the past 6 or 7 years (like really true love if I have ever felt it,) I approach and ask her out once I get over my social anxiety only to find out she is in a relationship (two and a half years strong and apparently very happy) my closest mates find their love and are having great times. Even on top of that my sister just had the guy she likes ask her out to formal. University also is crap overall 2/3 especially accy200 and econ 240 with fin222 being slightly close to bearable. On top of that I have to prepare for half semester exams which I am just out of my mind how I am going to pass let alone continue with my degree. Work has so much left to do in terms of everything with lazy people leaving it. Only to see happy couples come in and buy alcohol for their night out. Now just randomly crying because I can't deal with it any more and I am already on anti depressants for OCD.
Sorry about that all just everything just cant work out for me. I am just utterly distraught and just have no other options which could possibly work in my favour.
Any advice people cause when it looked rock bottom previously it has just spiralled downwards five fold.
Kind Regards
OMF
Sorry to hear your having a rough trot OMF and I know a bit of what your talking about as I have been up and down and even have a depression thread here where I vent occasionally but just remember there are people around that care, a lot pretend to but then there are a few rare one's that actually do so please don't feel bad for having a little vent now and then. A few years ago I lost pretty much everything, most of my health..but slowly but surely building it back up, my ex of six years that I just had to walk away with pretty much only my car and now living back home with my mum as I had no money or anywhere else to go and she couldn't see me living on the street and we have our fights but at the end of the day I know she cares greatly for me and about what happens to me. I too have and still have great trouble with depression and have found meds don't work for me but that might be because of my brain injury and have found a few really good mates here so if you like my door is always open to you to chat, I'll PM you my phone number or you can message me any time :friends: There's heaps I could say but will leave it at that and that goes to anyone else that is having trouble and would like to talk as I have been to heaps of councillors and psychologist but find I close up as I have trust issues after getting screwed around by them and found talking to real people helped me a lot more so I'm here if need be :friends:
PM sent mate :good:
Here's a link to my thread :)
https://www.australian-coins.net/showthread.php?tid=2327&highlight=depression
I would like to thank everyone for their support, I greatly appreciate it.
On how I have been going lately I have been to see the doctor who recommended a psychiatrist (due to already being on medication.) Generally it has been a bit easier lately however there are still issues I need to work through. One of the things that has worried me for a number of months has been my waning interest is coins as such I think I may give the hobby a bit of a break so that I can work on a number of other things atm. I will still be around the forums though but not adding to my collection.
Thanks everyone for your support :)
Always here if need be mate :good: Just take five as the forum isn't going any where and will be here when your ready, just look after ya self :friends: